Friday 23rd January 2009
On this afternoon, the Deaf leaders met at church with Aunty Olga for a meeting. I was tired. After this week I am certain that activities of any sort between Monday and Friday are out of the question for me.
During this meeting, after this meeting and on my way home I felt discouraged :( The prayer within my heart was for God to send help. In fact I think I unconsciously blurted out "God send help" during the meeting because I was beginning to feel pressured and overwhelmed (not to mention tired).
There were things to be done and the universal question was "who?" Who would do this and who would do that and I could not commit to anything. I could see the "who?" on their faces and I felt the blow to my heart when I could not say "I will go". I may have seemed detached to all present - I'm not sure - but my mind was consumed and maybe a bit shocked with the reality that the seasons in my life have changed and God was doing a new thing. Somehow I feel that He wants the Deaf to learn to depend on Him ALONE yet I cannot say.
What I do know is that God will make a way when there seems to be no way. I wanted to cry and I admit that it bothered me deeply but I trust that God will provide for the Deaf as He ALWAYS does.
Our life is in His hands.
I am also learning that it is NOT about me. So His will be done.
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