Philippians 2:3-4

Tuesday 28 December 2010

Today I spent some time with Azard and Neela since I had some business related interpreting to do for them. I've mentioned this before and my feelings have not since changed: I am always grateful for the opportunity to spend individual quality time with my Deaf friends as it allows me to know a Deaf person on a deeper level.

Something different happened today. As we talked, laughed, shared and exchanged information, Azard and Neela became the mirror into which I saw my life. Somehow I was forced to reevaluate my own life against theirs as the layers of their characters were peeled away. Azard's ambition, sacrifice and concern for familial affairs were brought to the forefront and I was inspired. I was inspired and again forced to reevaluate [yes myself as an individual] but also my opinion of him.


Esteem: to value something or somebody highly; to have a high regard for something or someone; regard with respect or admiration.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Philippians 2:3-4

And I, looked upon Azard in a way I've never done before.. with esteem =)

*****

"I am only one, but I am one"

Sunday 12 December 2010

Dear reader,

I apologise. I apologise to you for not writing sooner and more frequently, although I suspect that you may also owe me an apology for not reading lately lol. Well, there has been nothing to read so relax :)

Anyway, I feel a bit discouraged tonight and somehow it always helps when I talk to you. *Dramatic pause... sigh... Tonight I was approached by a lady who confronted me and basically voiced her concerns about what she feels is the lack of activity within Agape Deaf Centre. I will not give an account of this conversation in detail for obvious reasons but I will say that at the end of the convo I was left with feelings of failure and inadequacy.

Reader, I am not a failure nor am I inadequate to fulfill the purpose that God has called me towards. This I know. Yet I feel incompetent and ineffectual in so many ways. Is it my youth? My unsociable tendencies? My shying away from responsibilities which comes with the title of director? My inexperience? I could list a million things that hinders my effectiveness as a good leader but I could hear God nudging me and reassuring me that I'm designed for His purpose in my life and I'm not serving the Deaf by accident.

It's funny how much I've grown, been humbled and learnt from my Deaf friends. Initially I expected to be the one imparting knowledge but here I am experiencing change. "Loving the Unloved" has everything to do with me Reader.

With tears in my eyes, tonight I kick inadequacy and failure aside and look to my God who is my strength, my source and my comfort. I turn to Him and ask Him to fill me, use me and hold me. Will you agree with me tonight Reader, whoever and wherever you are? All I need is God. All I need is God. He is enough. Edward Everett Hale said it best:

"I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do. And by the grace of God, I will."