Dear reader,
I apologise. I apologise to you for not writing sooner and more frequently, although I suspect that you may also owe me an apology for not reading lately lol. Well, there has been nothing to read so relax :)
Anyway, I feel a bit discouraged tonight and somehow it always helps when I talk to you. *Dramatic pause... sigh... Tonight I was approached by a lady who confronted me and basically voiced her concerns about what she feels is the lack of activity within Agape Deaf Centre. I will not give an account of this conversation in detail for obvious reasons but I will say that at the end of the convo I was left with feelings of failure and inadequacy.
Reader, I am not a failure nor am I inadequate to fulfill the purpose that God has called me towards. This I know. Yet I feel incompetent and ineffectual in so many ways. Is it my youth? My unsociable tendencies? My shying away from responsibilities which comes with the title of director? My inexperience? I could list a million things that hinders my effectiveness as a good leader but I could hear God nudging me and reassuring me that I'm designed for His purpose in my life and I'm not serving the Deaf by accident.
It's funny how much I've grown, been humbled and learnt from my Deaf friends. Initially I expected to be the one imparting knowledge but here I am experiencing change. "Loving the Unloved" has everything to do with me Reader.
With tears in my eyes, tonight I kick inadequacy and failure aside and look to my God who is my strength, my source and my comfort. I turn to Him and ask Him to fill me, use me and hold me. Will you agree with me tonight Reader, whoever and wherever you are? All I need is God. All I need is God. He is enough. Edward Everett Hale said it best:
"I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do. And by the grace of God, I will."
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